


in honor of those who are unfortunately unable to resist the lure of the click and the call of the keys in favor of simply existing in ignorant bliss

by loki_of_jotunheim



Category: Alex Rider - Anthony Horowitz
Genre: Aged Up, Crack, M/M, Yalex - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-15
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-23 04:00:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30049575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loki_of_jotunheim/pseuds/loki_of_jotunheim
Summary: A simple date, interrupted quite rudely, on no basis whatsoever.look, i don't normally read or write Yalex but there are exceptions every one in a while. this is one of them.
Relationships: Yassen Gregorovich/Alex Rider
Comments: 16
Kudos: 29





	in honor of those who are unfortunately unable to resist the lure of the click and the call of the keys in favor of simply existing in ignorant bliss

**Author's Note:**

> yes, specifically to that one anon harassing people in this ship. i don't ship this normally, but I know what i do do? I simply *don't engage*. It's called respecting others and creating your Own Experience. You claim to be an adult and yet you don't have the self-control. lol. 
> 
> If you want to respond, GatherWood, come off anon. We can have a nice chat, like reasonable adults and maybe I can get it through your head that you are the sole person who curates their own internet experience. You clicked the tag, you clicked the story and you read the fic. If you're gonna blame someone else for writing it, either take over the world and destroy the internet and any forms of creative expression or just...avoid the tags. Seriously. I learned that before I was 15 and gasp, avoided any just generic explicit stuff anyways because IT HAD EXPLICIT ON IT. You're an adult, fucking do better. I know more responsible 15 year olds than you. 
> 
> Anyways, to everyone else....enjoy this bit of crack i wrote because fuck that shit above and hell yes to freedom of expression.

Yassen was having a wonderful time with his date, a lovely man by the name of Alex. He was about five years younger than Yassen and worked at a bank in the city. Yassen was in a similar job, having given up on his revenge plot and found great joy in accounting. 

Suddenly, the two were approached by a cop with the badge name of Officer Wood. He pulled Yassen into an uncomfortably tight grasp and slapped handcuffs on his wrist. If Yassen wasn’t dating Alex, he’d almost be tempted to flirt in response. 

“You’re under arrest!” Officer Wood said. “For…” 

  
He couldn’t finish, it seemed. He gathered up his courage. 

“For  _ sexual relations with minors _ .” He hissed, sounding like he was choking it out. 

Yassen was outraged. He had  _ never _ . 

“Specifically, one Alex Rider.” Alex, sitting down still, burst out laughing. 

“I’m Alex and I can refute that accusation,” Alex told the man when he’d regained his breath. “I’m only five years younger than him and I’ve been an adult for some time now. Far longer than we’ve been dating or…” He dropped his voice with a smirk, “...being  _ intimate _ .” 

“But - but -” Officer Wood stuttered. “You were ...active as a  _ teenager _ , yes, Mr. Gregorovich?” 

“Seeing as I was a forced laborer in Russia at the time, no.” Yassen responded dryly. “I can’t answer to Alex, I’ve never asked him.” 

“Teenagers do things.” Alex shrugged. “But I never was that close to  _ him _ at that. Could you uncuff him, please? I prefer to be the one in charge of that, thank you  _ very  _ much. Oh, also, do you have a warrant?” 

“I - well - no.” Officer Wood spluttered. He reluctantly uncuffed Yassen. 

“What’s your full name, Officer?” Alex continued politely. It was  _ fun _ watching him do this to people. 

“Officer Gather Wood.” The man replied, adding defensively, “My parents thought it was hilarious.” 

  
“Ah. Well, I can’t say we share the same sense of humor. Now shoo, we were having a nice date. I’m sure you’re going to be hearing from your supervisor  _ very  _ soon.” Alex made a shooing motion and the man complied. “Ah, yes, where were we? Lunch.” 

**Author's Note:**

> For the record, comments are to registered only because either you come off anon, GatherWood, to harass me, or you stay in silence. What you're doing is absolutely not okay. You claim to be an adult, you should know better. And if you're lying, that's worse on YOU. Because you shouldn't be here anyways with your complaints. 
> 
> And for the record...I've been involved with some form of fandom (FFN, as an example), for 10+ years now. I've also been an adult for a while now too. And you should know better. Shame on you, GatherWood.


End file.
